Preventing divorces by making them difficult, (either for men or women) would amount to merely treating a symptom rather than identifying and curing the disease. Moreover, people do not divorce just because they are given the right to do so. Marriage is an important event and no person whimsically terminates it.

However, there are a few important causative factors due to which people, especially women, divorce. These issues can be overcome if only spouses work at it. These are issues that do not warrant a divorce. Prime among them ranks lack of communication.

Communication Problems

Lack of communication is an important reason that has been relegated to the background, for many people do not rate it as a serious deterrent to marital harmony. Low communication levels drive spouses apart and induce marital boredom, eventually leading to a divorce. When spouses do not communicate, they do not discuss the routine problems that crop up in everyday living. Unsolved problems develop in magnitude causing either partner to simmer with irritation. This creates a gulf between the marital mates and distances them emotionally. Soon, they turn two separate individuals, leading two separate lives, yet, living in the same house. Neither is surprised when one petitions a divorce.

Lack of communication should be worked upon with professional help. The problem should be solved in its inception. Usually, by the time couples reach the counsellor, it is too late. Another equally manageable issue left ignored pertains to the problem associated with gender demarcation of work.

Gender-based Roles

This problem is more widespread than it is acknowledged. In majority of the households, both men and women hold responsible positions and earn equivalently. However, women appear crushed under the burden of managing domesticity with a regular job. The extreme pressure of work soon turns a woman’s day into a daily grind. Her monotonous work turns her into an irritated person. Few marriages survive the load of such a burden. If divorce is not contemplated, one of the spouses slowly drifts apart in quest of love elsewhere. Then we are confronted with a new dimension to the problem in the form of infidelity.

Infidelity is rightly described as a symptom of marital problem, though it is not the problem itself. It is usually forgiven, provided the guilty partner confesses. It would not lead to a divorce if forgiveness is followed by an effort at making the marriage work.

However, all situations are not manageable as the one mentioned above. At times, divorce becomes a necessity.

Problems that Warrant a Divorce

Some marriages are so riddled with problems that women find it impossible to cope with.

• One of these is physical abuse. Violent spouses endanger the life and safety of their partner. Such marriages invariably end in a divorce when the abused woman ultimately finds her voice after a period of stupefied silence.



• Another type of abuse that is more rampant is the emotional abuse. Sufferers continue suffering for long for they fail to recognise the abuse. Such a relationship should be ended before the relationship destroys life.



• A third reason that warrants a divorce is the absence of safety net in a marriage. One of the primitive reasons as to why we marry is for the pertinent need of security. To women, a secured existence translates to financial and emotional security. When it is absent, a marriage fails.



• People prone to substance abuse make life meaninglessly difficult for their family. Precious financial resources are spent on paying for the addictive habits. Addiction creates many other related problems like bad health, emotional problems, financial difficulties, etc. Though both men and women are prone to addiction, it is the women who are, usually, the victimised spouses. Ultimately, marriages crumble in the crisis.

No marriage is free of problems and every marital alliance requires extreme hard work. Every union gives rise to plenty of problems over the years. Some issues can be resolved and worked upon, while a few problems are so serious in nature that such marriages are best terminated. However, problems are better solved when dealt with professional help.

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James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk