There are two possibilities in every moment. The first possibility is to have all of our attention, curiosity and passion focused on what is happening. The other possibility is to focus that same curiosity, attention, and passion on what isn't happening, what is not present, or what want to be happening. The question is: In this moment, what are you giving your attention to? Are you allowing what is, or trying to change it in some way?

When we focus is on what is, our experience naturally opens up and becomes fuller, richer, and more complete. But when we focus on what is not (like the past, the future, or any idea about what would be better), our experience of what is happening narrows and contracts. In addition, inherent in a focus on what is not is a struggle with what is.

We discover that much of the time we are oriented toward what is not and in opposition to what is. Life can be mostly about how to make our experience better and have more pleasure, and how to avoid the things that are painful. We evaluate our experience to see what's wrong with this moment and how it could be improved. We ask ourselves what could be added to it to make it better. As a result, our attention becomes very narrow and our awareness very limited as we focus on our own thoughts about the moment instead of the moment itself.

When we see how much effort we spend struggling with what is, the tendency is to struggle with that-to try to change that. We decide the solution is to change our tendency to try to change everything. But that is only more struggle: except now we are struggling with our tendency to try to struggle. In a sense, we suffer over the fact that we are suffering.

Another possibility is to notice how you suffer, without trying to change anything about it. Just allow that you don't allow much. Recognize that that is the way it is. This struggling is what we were conditioned to do; and this it turns out that this conditioning is also a part of what is.

Once we stop being in opposition to what is, it is possible to see how all of our struggling comes from the idea of a "me". Without the assumption that something is my experience, there wouldn't be much point in trying to change anything about the moment. Our effort and struggle to change what is only makes sense if there is a me. It is all in service to maintaining the idea of a me. In fact, the struggle is the me. When there is no struggle, there is no me. All of our suffering is how we have and maintain an identity.

Once again, there is a tendency is to try to fix this by changing our beliefs about our identiy. We try to get rid of identification, which is another way of focusing on what is not. Yet, we are then still suffering because now we are struggling with our tendency to identify. Instead of accepting of what is, we are looking toward how it should be: I ought to know better; I should already know who I am.

Another possibility is always available: to simply be present to everything including the tendency to identify, without trying in any way to change anything. If something is happening, then that's what is.Let it be just the way it is. it is all amazing, even the fact that there seems to be a "me". You may see how ultimately unreal this "me" is, but that does not mean there is any need to struggle with it. Why assume that ther is anything wrong that needs to be fixed? Without any effort or struggle, this moment is enough to enjoy. What a gift to be here!

When it is completely ok for things to be just the way they are,l including our identity, then naturally more of experience can be included in our awareness. If we just be present to and allow our identification and struggle, then it is also possible to notice something beyond all of that. We can call that Being.

So along with the struggle and suffering inherent in identification, is a much larger ground of Being in which everything is allowed. Our identity is just a thought or idea, but there is no need to judge or turn away from that idea. In addition to the struggling inherent in our identification, there is also present a profoundly rich ocean of Being, which is allows everything, including the "me". The struggle is only a tiny bit of our entire experience and even this struggle is allowed in the limitless presence of Being.

Allowing everything in awareness brings u sin touch with what it is that is allowing, which is Being, and that is who we really are. This can be a startling realization or a very simple one because our Being is actually quite familiar. Every experience of allowing has actually been a moment where we experienced Being.

Paradoxically, what brings us beyond the struggle and unlocks the bigger view is realizing how much we enjoy identifying. Once we allow things to be the way they are, it is possible to admit that identification has been a lot of fun. The illusion of a separate self is an incredible act of creation. It has created the whole drama of human existence. It has inspired many of the great works of art and literature. We love to identify, but that doesn't mean we also don't suffer from it. This creation and projecting of a false identity-a me-is not a mistake. It's natural, spontaneous, and inherent in human nature. It's one of the richest parts of our experience-and there is also the even richer possibility of no longer mistaking the me as the totality of who we are. Identification isn't a mistake, and yet there is much more to life-and to us-than that experience. The larger Being that we truly are is always here.

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Well regarded spiritual teacher, Nirmala has been offering Satsang and one-to-one Spiritual Mentoring since 1998. He provides free spiritual books and many more ways to experience his teaching on endless-satsang.com. Don't reprint this article. Instead, reprint a free unique content version of this same article.