We've all heard the old saying, 'You can't know someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes.' To add to the other 'energy' techniques I've written about in previous articles, I'd like to tell you about a great rapport builder of jumping into someone else's skin and walking a mile in their shoes. In "To Kill a Mockingbird" Harper Lee wrote, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."

When we climb into the skin of our prospects, we can experience their decision making, their affluence, or simply their emotional states.

When we consciously decide to "step inside" our prospects or clients or other than conscious minds make up patterns and make connections on our behalf. We are goal seeking mechanisms and the goal here is to be able to formulate what we are going to experience.

This is all about imagination. The way I do it is I look at my prospect and I jump in, simply imagining. My unconscious has already created a map, constructed a model of who this person is and I simply begin to mirror and model powerfully creating an instant rapport.

Is it real? I don't know. I don't really care. It's a mental construct. I am making it up in my mind. I'm making up that I'm now in your body looking through your eyes.

Another option, one that I've had students tell me about, is building a picture the person you're 'becoming', then you turn around so you're facing the same way I am and just step in. This can be thought of as mirroring.

I've experienced this as one of the quickest ways to gain incredible rapport. When we're working with the affluent, it's likely we're working with people who have more wealth than we do. By assuming their mannerisms, as we do when stepping into their skin, we have a very powerful simulation of them where they emulate the level of affluence which their client has.

This technique works if you spend a lot of your day on the phone as well. Maybe you have no idea what your prospects look like, well, it's enough to have their voice. You can do this kind of mirroring with just their voice. Voices have characteristics and patterns that your unconscious mind recognizes.

If we assume there is a finite number of patterns, then we can base those patterns on different systems of classification (astrology, for example). With these systems, we narrow the number of possible combinations.

Humans are infinite obviously. However, isn't it interesting to know that your other than conscious, in its vast experience of dealing with all the people it has dealt with, has come across most all of the major patterns and major characteristics of the people that you're dealing with? It knows what that other person can be like, can build a pattern and you can step right in, even if you're just on the phone.

We are constructing an imperfect image. But even imperfect is okay. If we're only hearing them as opposed to hearing and seeing, our construct is going to be different. However, for every minute we are with them, whether in their presence or on the phone, we are getting a more complete idea and image and we are locking on to what that person needs and wants from the interaction.

Here are a few things to ask yourself once you've stepped into their skin: What are their physical characteristics? How does it feel to have those characteristics? Notice when you step into the other person, where you feel the connection to them. Do you feel the connection in your stomach, in your feet, in your hands, in your chest, in your head? Where do you feel the connection? By asking yourself these questions you'll deepen the rapport.

Before trying this, here's something to keep in mind: if the person's sick, if they have something considerably wrong with them, if you know that they're not a particularly good person or they are someone you just don't like, you might not choose to use this level of rapport.

This exercise, even if you're not particularly in touch with energy, can still be used effectively.

Business Products on our marketplace

Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of affluent prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion techniques.