Are you sick of your child's tantrums, the bickering and the arguing ? It is no good saying that he or she is a 'difficult child'. Defiant children are often angry and hostile in their interaction with peers. Most parents of defiant children are afraid to set definite and definitive limits, and chaos results. Parents often do not know where to start in managing defiant kids.

Some parents try spanking as a nice easy solution but this will not solve the problem. Defiant kids will be able to manipulate the situation by focusing the attention on the parents' actions. Not only do they resent being punished but they will also try to get their own back. Some parents think praise will solve the problem but again this is not effective. Yet defiant behaviour needs to be dealt with quickly. There is no point in shrugging off the behaviour as "cute" because this problem is only likely to get worse.

This sort of behaviour can start as early as the age of 2. The child will defy the parent and start doing the exact opposite. If unchecked this behaviour will manifest itself in the school when the child reaches 8 or 9 years of age and he or she will be rejected in the playground by the other children. This leads to a sort of coercive behaviour rather than cooperation. We are not sure about the cause of defiant behaviour but some experts argue that crtain food additives and colourings may lead to ADHD and other behavioural disorders in children.

All children will be defiant at some point or other. It is when this behaviour becomes chronic that alarm bells should start to ring. It may well be a symptom of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) but I will deal with that in another article. Very often these kids are angry and frustrated and will seek to blame anybody else in the neighborhood. They very often assume an attitude of knowing it all.

How a family as a unit reacts to the child's defiance will be key. All the family has to be involved. Child therapists usually insist that all family members cooperate and thereby this will bring the family closer together. The reaction of family members to the defiant child's behaviour and how the child is disciplined are crucial.

Family members may have a hard time understanding each other and a child with any level of defiance can create big problems for himself, his family, and others around him. However, openly uncooperative and hostile behaviour becomes a serious concern when it is so frequent and consistent that it stands out when compared with other children of the same age and developmental level and when it affects the child's social, family, and academic life.

The problem of dealing with the problem in time is shown by some recent statistics. Parenting techniques were shown to work in about 75% of cases where the children were under the age of 10. Once the children were over the age of 12, then the success rate fell dramatically to about 25%. Some parents will try to resolve the problem once and for all by teaching the child the lesson of his or her life. This usually comes at the end of a period of frustration on the part of the parents but it does not work. Other parents tell the kid about how 'disappointed' they are with the child's behaviour but again this is not effective.

If your child has an ADHD disorder,there may other complications such as school problems, e.g. inability to concentrate and difficulty in completing assignments. The site below will help you to learn parenting techniques in dealing with this problem and lead to a happier calmer family, which is what we all want!

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Are you discouraged as a parent of defiant kids? Visit Parenting techniques for defiant kids for a really great program. For other breaking Health and Welness news, visit The Wellness Bible