Having children is one of the best things one can experience. However, this does not come for free. Most parent experience a lot of stress caused by the children and the responsibility for them. Since the children are born we rarely have more than a week in a row without worrying about our kids. Unless you really want to go nuts, it is an imperative to learn how to cope with such situation - fast.
First, remember that you should be calm. In situations where you can't keep yourself together much longer, just walk away and take a few deep breaths. How can you know that the time is right? It's simple: if you clench your fists and hear your voice rising, the stress attack is on the way. A few minutes more and you will lose your temper unless you go away. Remember that screaming will not do any good, even for you. If you have to scream, do it alone.
Then, never let yourself ignore the problems you have. It is better to meet them head on and find a solution even if this may result in conflict. When you speak your mind, you risk a short quarrel, that's true. If you decide to ignore the problem and the situation happens again, you will feel your blood pressure rising and your contacts with your children will cool down to the level when you can't really discuss with them anything.
Another thing is that you have to remain in control of a situation. Never let it follow its own course if you feel it's not going to end well. If your kids are going to do something improper, bad or simply stupid, be the first to tell them that. If you can't cope with the problem otherwise, use everything you have in your power (including grounding and similar punishments) to keep your children from doing things you don't accept. Explain your reasons to them, but never let them make big mistakes - it is the shortest way for a parent to suffer a nervous breakdown.
The bottom line: solve the problems as soon as they appear. Do not wait for the to aggravate. If your 15-year-old daughter invites her 20-year-old boyfriend to her room for the first time, you can solve the situation and save yourself a lot of stress with a single joke or inviting your daughter and her boyfriend for a cup of coffee. If it has already happened a few times, you can't really do anything about it short of a major row - one that may have an ability to split the family apart. So, remember to never let things spin out of control!
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