Whenever there are two people together there will be jealousy. It doesn't matter if they are married or not. Jealousy is a phenomenon that is hard to grasp and even harder to deal with.
One major factor why jealousy on one part often leads to an argument is that the other partner doesn't feel that the jealousy is justified. He or she would classify it as overreaction.
You and your partner might be having a lot of arguments over this attitude that you have. Instead of being obsessed with it, you can actually channel this negative feeling and know the deeper reason of why you get jealous.
Now let's see how you can deal with jealousy in your marriage:
1. Get a concept of your inner self
Ask yourself why you tend to get jealous unreasonably. Does your partner actually show signs that you should not trust him or her?
Trust is the best defense against jealousy. When two people trust each other jealousy is much less likely to get any chance at all. However, distrust is the perfect foundation on which jealousy can grow - and eventually get out of control.
Is it really worth the emotional effort to allow all these negative feelings to take over?
2. Jealousy has its roots in our natural desire to preserve what we have and keep things and people that we think belong to us. Jealousy in certain doses can actually add some spice to your marriage and keep the tension alive that is needed. However when it gets too strong jealousy becomes destructive.
A man will naturally want to 'protect his territory'. This is why it is hard-wired into a man's behavior. This is as long as this 'territorial feeling' tends more to protect his partner and not be destructive.
Keep this in mind and you will be able to channel these feelings towards improving your marriage.
3. Try to find out where these feelings are coming from. There is always a reason for it. Most of the time the cause of this will be some type of insecurity. You think you are lacking something or have some other doubts about yourself or your partner.
It might be that the cause for this fear lies in some situation or experience you have had with another partner some time ago.
There might be many other causes but most of the time there has been one particular occurrence in the past that caused that certain type of trust to get lost and be replaced by chronic distrust and fear.
It is crucial that you find the reason for these feelings within yourself.
4. There are also other types of jealousy.
You might be jealous of things or traits your partner has and you don't.
So you must address the root of the problem so you can better understand your own feelings.
5. Try to think for a moment what jealousy does to the feelings of your partner.
Jealousy has been known to cause breakups and rifts in a relationship.
Think how you would feel if you were on the receiving end of your partner's jealousy. How would you feel, and how would you react? By putting yourself in your partner's shoes, you would learn that this might give him/her a stifling feeling which might later lead to bigger problems.
6. Have a better sense of self to prevent irrational jealousy.
If the root of your feeling stems from a low self-esteem, try to work on changing your attitude and learn to develop a greater feeling of self-worth. This would help you curb the irrational tendencies to be jealous and help heal yourself in the process.
7. Learn to accept risks.
Jealousy is often caused by the fear of being disappointed.
However, there is no way you can rule out ever being disappointed. Life is full of ups and downs and there is no way to only take the ups fearfully avoiding the downs. This is why you must accept taking risks in life and love.
By mulling over these things, you can learn not to succumb to the feeling of jealousy and have a more stable and love-filled married life.
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