There are 3 unconscious habits that block effective communication: Making moralistic judgements, Making Comparisons and Denying Personal Responsibility. In a previous article I gave examples of how these create Communication Frustration for everyone involved. This article will show you the other forms those habits can take with sp... Read more
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If you really want to get your ex back it's important to understand that the emotional pain you are experiencing right now could keep you from some clear thinking. Unless you want to keep blundering along and make it even harder to get your ex back you must take a step back and honestly evaluate how you have handled the break-up situation so far. You may not realize that you may actually be pushing your ex even further away instead of increasing the odds in your favor that you will get your ex back.
People who have lost someone or something that they want desperately to get back frequently allow their emotions to take over and soon desperation sets in. In a break-up situation this results in you exhibiting the push away behaviors that make it much less likely that you will be getting your ex back. When you beg or plead with your ex to come back it only drives them further and further away. You may think that if they only knew how much you love them and need them, they will finally get it and come rushing back into your waiting arms. Not likely - you may find them rushing into the waiting arms of someone else instead! You need to regain a sense of your own dignity here. Remember one of the many classic movie scenes you may have watched where the ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend character is trying desperately to win back their lover with needy declarations of undying love, or convince them that they will change, or make it up to their ex for whatever they think they did wrong? As you remember the scene did you find yourself cringing inside with embarrassment for the poor man or woman that was on the screen exhibiting such humiliating behavior and didn't even realize it? Did you wonder why they couldn't see how much they were hurting instead of helping their chances of getting their ex to come back to them? Now can you see yourself in that movie scene that you just thought of? Are you doing any of those soul crushing behaviors that are not only hurting your self esteem by making you feel worse and worse but also continuing to push your ex away too? I'm sure you think that if you can just convince your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend of your love for them you will win them back, so you will do anything it takes, no matter how humiliating, to get them to understand how much you love them and need them. Perhaps you believe that yours is a true love, and true love conquers all - right? Well true love is the operative word here, or perhaps a better word would be real love instead. Real love isn't needy or desperate. It's confident enough to allow your ex to have the space they need right now to breath and get a handle on their emotions before you make your next move. And if you make your next move the right one you will greatly increase your chances of winning your ex back instead of continuing to push them away from you. Now don't despair; even if you have been blundering along it's never too late! Time to take that step back and give it a break. Use this time instead to pull yourself together and learn a SMARTER WAY to get your ex back!
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